Opening your self up to receiving gratitude opens up your world to endless possibilities.
Gratitude. A word that I struggled to understand and a concept that I failed to apply to my own life. I’d heard numerous times throughout my life that I’m ungrateful. I even heard it from myself, but it just didn’t resonate with me. Until one day I was at the intersection of self-loathe and unhappiness that I realized how ungrateful I really was. But, how can you be grateful for anything when you’re not even grateful for yourself?
I took a lot of things, people, experiences, and opportunities for granted. I closed myself off to the wonderful side of the human experience because I was more wrapped up in being a victim in my own life that I couldn’t see the bigger picture. Life is full of circumstances, but it’s how you choose to think and feel about them that sets you apart from unhappiness.
“I was more wrapped up in being a victim in my own life that I couldn’t see the bigger picture.”
I had a lot of trapped emotions that I didn’t want to let go of. The worst was unconditionally loathing myself rather than unconditionally loving loving myself. I didn’t like who I was showing up in the world as. Petty, insecure, selfish, a victim, limited thinking, resentful, ungrateful…I didn’t truly appreciate the gifts that were right in front of me and within me. I didn’t appreciate my own ability to be a really great person in this world. I lived with an impoverished mindset, keeping everything to myself including my own unique gifts.
“I didn’t truly appreciate the gifts that were right in front of me and within me.”
It had been nearly a year since I had stepped onto my yoga mat and it was a practice I had never experienced. I was flowing, my heart was open, and I was present with myself. No limiting thoughts, no fears, no judgments. I had a brain-heart connection, something I had been seeking to experience but couldn’t let go enough of my ego in order to do it. It was during this practice that I had experienced that connection and felt #gratitude.
I remember feeling so much joy during my practice that I wanted to cry. I remember locking eyes with the yoga instructor and feeling a connection with another human being that was so genuine. I typically hate eye contact. It always felt so uncomfortable and awkward. My connection with her was one of sending gratitude, love, and thank you for creating this space for me to come and connect with myself. We all deserve to be able to do that.